The OverUnder
by spiralmonster
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki would never have thought he'd be forced to resort to cross-dressing and working as a hostess just to get by, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Little did he know it would lead him to the love of this life... Sasu/Naru AU
1. Desperate Times

**A/N: Just to forewarn everyone, Neji is also in this story, and he will be about a million miles out of character. However, he serves his purpose and you'll get over it. And I mean that in the most loving way possible. (: I hope you guys like it, and don't forget to review! :D**

_"Because things are the way they are, things cannot stay the way they are."_  
>Bertolt Brecht<p>

Key:_  
>thoughts<br>"Words spoken in the past / technically memories?"_

**Chapter 1 - Desperate Times**

"I'm home."

Twenty-two year old Naruto Uzumaki stumbled into his dark condo, kicking off his soaked shoes at the door. He slipped and slid across the tile floor in wet socks, heading toward the bathroom. When he got there, Naruto stripped himself of his drenched clothes and hung them over the rail that held up the shower curtain. There was no sense in wasting electricity by putting them in the dryer. Wasting electricity was wasting money, and money was something that Naruto desperately needed. After his clothes were hung up to dry, Naruto grabbed his orange bath towel off of the towel rack and used it to soak up the water droplets that had lodged themselves in his mass of blond hair and dry the rest of his naked body. On his way to hang the towel back on the rack, Naruto caught sight of himself in the mirror and groaned. He looked just as bad as he felt.

Naruto worked part-time at a clothing store in the local mall, and lately hours had been getting cut. Recession had hit everyone hard, and the amount of shoppers in his high-end corporate chain store was steadily decreasing. Less shoppers meant less sales dollars, and less sales dollars meant less hours for the employees. Naruto kicked himself for not taking the full-time supervisor position when it was offered to him. At the time hours had been good, and Naruto was only nineteen. He hadn't wanted the responsibility that came with being a key holder. Now the store manager had Naruto permanently in the category of not interested in job elevation, and employees who weren't interested in moving forward with the company were the first ones to get their shifts cut last minute. Staring at his reflection, Naruto could clearly see the toll that all of this stress had taken on him. There were deep purple bags under his eyes, which seemed to be a much duller blue than they were in previous years. He looked about ten years older than he was. Naruto sighed, finally hanging up his towel and making his way toward his bedroom.

As he walked, Naruto thought about all the other problems in his life that had been caused as a result of his hours getting cut. His car, that he'd bought brand new when he was eighteen, had been repossessed because he was no longer able to make the payments. This left him usually walking home from late nights at work because he didn't have money to pay for a cab. On occasion he'd get off early enough to catch the public bus, but usually Naruto had to resort to working the late night closing shifts that nobody else wanted to work. The nights didn't bother Naruto as long as he got paid but sometimes, on nights like tonight, Naruto's evening stroll would get interrupted by a sudden rain storm. Those were the nights he truly dreaded. Through it all Naruto tried to remain positive, pushing thoughts of his lost vehicle out of his mind as he picked a pair of pajamas out of his dresser and pulled them on. As he was pulling a plain black T-shirt over his head, Naruto heard the phone ring out in the living room.

"I'm coming!" he called as he hurried to the front of the condo, although he knew the person calling couldn't hear him. "Hello?" he asked when he picked up the receiver.

"Naruto, it's me," said the voice on the other end. Naruto recognized the voice immediately. It was Jiraiya, his godfather and landlord.

"Hey, gramps," Naruto greeted, somewhat uneasily. He knew full well that he was late on his rent payment. He was hoping that the old man would let it slide until he could scrape some money together. "What's goin' on?"

Jiraiya sighed. "You know what's going on, Naruto. Your rent's late. Again." Naruto opened his mouth to defend himself, but Jiraiya cut him off. "Look, I can't do this anymore. You know I loved your dad like a son, and I love you like a grandson. Your parents named me to take care of you in their... absence, and I did. I paid your bills and put food on the table until you could afford to do so yourself. I've lowered the rent significantly from what your parents paid so that you could keep your home. I've done everything I can for you, Naruto, but you're a legal adult now. Aside from my respect for your father's wishes, I have no obligation to take care of you anymore. I hate to say it, but..." he paused, taking a deep breath before he continued. "If you can't afford to pay the rent, I'm going to have to evict you."

Naruto's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He had expected a gentle chastising, like Jiraiya had always given him. He never thought in his wildest dreams that the man who raised him would kick him out of his lifelong home. "B-but," he began, not really knowing what to say. "It's not my fault, gramps! It's work! I can't get any hours, I told you about my car, I-"

"I'm sorry, kiddo." Jiraiya sounded defeated. "You've got thirty days to catch up with the rent. If work's the problem, then find another job. I'll talk to you later." And with that, the other man hung up.

Naruto continued to hold the phone to his ear, listening to the dial tone for almost a minute before it sank in that he was really in danger of losing his home. He hung the receiver up and fell into a nearby chair, staring off into the darkness of the living room. How could Jiraiya do this to him? Surely the old man knew that there was a recession going on. Everyone was going through rough times right now. _"If work's the problem, then find another job." _Naruto couldn't believe that. He'd been looking for a new job for months. The blond had applied at every clothing store, restaurant, coffee shop, hotel, electronics dealer, bookstore, and supermarket within a ten mile radius. Any job he was qualified for, he applied for, whether or not he wanted to work in that particular field. So far, all that job searching had gotten him was two interviews. The local grocery store had deemed him over qualified for the position once they met with him. Another clothing store in the same mall as his current store had offered him a position, but told him they could only hire him if he were to quit his current job. They had a policy prohibiting their employees from working for any competing companies. Naruto had considered it, but ultimately the new store had offered him a lower pay rate with no guarantee of more hours to make up the difference. He had to deny the offer.

Now Naruto didn't know what he was going to do. First thing in the morning he would call his manager and see what he could do to get more hours at work. Surely they would accommodate him if he told them he was in danger of being evicted, right? Naruto scoffed at the thought; he didn't really think they would care. Either way, he needed to either get a better paying job or a second job. Determined to kick his job search into overdrive the next morning, Naruto stood from his chair and unsteadily made his way back to his bedroom.

-:-

The next morning Naruto woke up at eight o'clock, much earlier than he normally would on his day off. Since the mall didn't open for another two hours and his manager wouldn't be in for at least an hour and a half, Naruto decided that he would start his morning focusing on his other job options. He booted up his computer and went back through his history, finding any job applications he had filled out in the past two weeks. He called each establishment individually, knowing that employers were normally more impressed by applicants who called in to check on their application. He left his name, phone number, and the date of his application with all the companies who answered. He left messages with the few companies that had answering machines, and he made sure to write down the names and numbers of companies that he couldn't reach so that he could call back later. When he made his way through all of his current applications he pulled out the classifieds section of the newspaper, searching the help wanted ads for anything that looked promising. He took down a few numbers, but most of the places either called for a college degree or had already received an application from Naruto.

Naruto sighed, flopping onto his couch and letting the newspaper fall out of his hand. _This is way too much stress for an average, upstanding twenty two year old citizen to be dealing with_, he thought to himself. The phone rang suddenly and Naruto jumped up, hoping it would be someone calling him in for an interview. He practically ran to the phone, and had to force himself to stop and take a few deep breaths before he picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hey, baby," a voice purred seductively. "I didn't think you'd be awake yet." Naruto let out a sigh of frustration.

"Not now, Neji. I need to keep the lines open in case someone calls to offer me a job." Neji Hyuuga had been one of Naruto's best friends since middle school, as well as his first boyfriend. Neji had always been a cross-dresser, and as a teenager Naruto was extremely intrigued by it. Naruto found Neji pretty in a very feminine way, and Neji had been nothing but happy to let his (at the time) bi-curious best friend experiment with him. Although they were no longer "together" the two young men talked frequently and maintained a healthy friendship. Neji often play-flirted with Naruto, as he did with all men, and told the blond frequently that he would make an excellent drag queen.

Neji laughed lightly. "How many times do I have to tell you the Over-Under is hiring before you apply? You're sure to get a job there, especially if you say that I referred you."

"No," Naruto said firmly. "I may be desperate, but I'm not _that_ desperate."

"Whatever you say, sweetheart," Neji replied. "I was planning on inviting you out to a movie or something since both of us finally have a day off together, but I guess you're too busy hanging over the phone."

"Sorry, man. I wish I could but I wanna make sure I'm here if someone does happen to call. Plus, I have to call my boss soon and talk to him about something."

"Alright," Neji consented, sighing. "But if you change your mind, feel free to call me. Talk to you later."

"Talk to you later."

Both of them hung up and Naruto went back to his spot on the couch. He stared blankly at the wall for a bit, thinking over what his friend had said. Neji worked at the biggest host club in the Fire Country, the Over-Under. It got its name from it's unique structure, offering female hostesses downstairs as well as male hosts upstairs. Naruto had never really understood the concept of host clubs, but Neji had described it to him as a sort of new-age geisha house; an establishment that simulated relationships. What that meant, Naruto had no idea. All he knew was that it sounded far too close to prostitution for his comfort, and so he denied his friend's numerous attempts to recruit him to the club. The blond blinked, shaking the thoughts from his mind. There was no way he was going to stoop that low. Times were rough, but not that rough. Looking at the clock, Naruto decided it was about time he called his manager, and got up to do just that. The line rang twice before the familiar voice of the store manager answered.

"Hey boss, it's Naruto. Can I talk to you really quick?"

The line was silent for a moment before his boss replied. "Actually, Naruto, I was just about to call you. I have something more important to tell you."

"No," Naruto protested. "This is something I really need to talk to you about. You see, my landlord called me last night an-"

"We need to let you go, Naruto."

Instantly Naruto stopped talking. His mouth dropped open. "Wha... what do you mean?" he asked, shaky and breathless.

He didn't want to accept what he knew was happening. His boss sighed. "You know exactly what I mean. I know you've been with us for a long time, Naruto, but the company simply has too many people employed at our location. You haven't shown any interest in career advancement within the company, and your job performance has been slipping lately. If it's any consolation, you're not the only one we're letting go."

"But... I..." Naruto was speechless. He didn't know what to think. He had lost his car, was in danger of losing his home, and now he was losing his job. What had he done to deserve all of this?

"I'm sorry Naruto. But because I know you've been looking for another job and having trouble, I want to offer you an option that I didn't give to anyone else. I haven't put in the paperwork for your dismissal yet. If you want, you can come in on your next scheduled shift and give me your two weeks' notice. That way it won't go on your record that you've been fired." Naruto flinched at the word 'fired'. He had been with the store for five years. He got along with everyone. He never thought in a thousand years that he would be getting fired.

"Well?" his manager asked when Naruto didn't respond. "Which will it be? Quit or be fired, the choice is yours. Either way you have to be let go."

"I..." the blond trailed off, not knowing what he wanted to do. _This shouldn't be a choice I'm forced to make immediately_, he thought to himself. "Can I... have some time to think about it?" he asked finally.

"You have until your next shift." And with that, the other man hung up.

Naruto hung the receiver back in the cradle on the wall, leaned against the wall next to the phone, and unconsciously slid down the wall until he was sitting on the tiled floor. Naruto didn't think he could stand. He felt all of the stress of the past few months closing in on him, circling him like a caged lion around a fresh steak. He felt his breathing quicken, and tried to steady it to no avail. _Why is this happening to me? _the blond couldn't help but wonder. His breath came even faster as he closed his eyes to keep from crying. _What did I do to deserve this? _A familiar tingling started in his hands and travelled up his arms, leaving a numbness in it's wake. He was starting to gasp for air, hyperventilating. Naruto opened his eyes and tried to stand, to make his way to his anxiety pills in the kitchen, but a sudden dizziness hit him like a truck and his legs gave out underneath him. _How could this happen to me? _He brought a numb hand up to his neck, pulled at his shirt collar even though he knew it was useless. The last thing Naruto heard was a knock at the door before his eyes slid shut, the world went black, and he fainted.


	2. Upstairs

_"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."_  
>Friedrich Nietzsche<p>

Key:_  
>thoughts<em>**  
>-:-<strong> time pass or scene change

**Chapter 2 - Upstairs**

Naruto blinked groggily as he awoke. Someone said something, loudly, but it sounded as if he were hearing it from underwater. He couldn't make out any words. He pushed himself up, looked around, and almost immediately found Neji's face. He blinked a few more times, to make sure he wasn't dreaming. What was Neji doing in his house? He tried to voice this question, but it just came out as a bunch of slurs and half-spoken syllables. Neji put a finger to the blond's lips and shushed him, at which point Naruto realized how much his head hurt and took his friend's advice. He closed his eyes and leaned back against his pillow until his head cleared and he could properly hear the things going on around him. He heard people talking and assumed Neji turned on the television. There was also a quiet, steady beeping noise that caused Naruto to furrow his eyebrows. He couldn't imagine what that was. He opened his eyes and found his friend's face again. "What are you doing here?" he asked, quietly and somewhat groggily.

Neji raised an eyebrow at him in response. The blond blinked, all of a sudden wondering how he could be leaning back against a pillow when the last thing he remembered was sitting on his living room floor. He sat back up and took another, better, look around, and realized for the first time that he wasn't in his living room anymore. The walls and floors were pure white, he was laying on a mattress that was far too firm (and far too well-made) to be his own bed, he was surrounded by beeping and blinking screens and machines, and the only pieces of furniture in the room were the bed he lay in, the chair Neji sat in, and a small night stand next to the bed.

"As a matter of fact..." he started, more coherently this time, "what am I doing here?"

Neji gave him a concerned look. "You tell me," he said seriously. "The doctors said you had an anxiety attack and passed out. I thought you got some preventative medication?"

"Doctors..?" Naruto wondered aloud. Now the change of scenery made sense; he was in the hospital. "How'd I get to the hospital?" he asked, ignoring the Hyuuga's question.

"After we got off the phone I decided to surprise you by coming over with some movies we could watch at your place 'cause I didn't want you to just be sitting home alone all day staring at the phone. When I got there you didn't answer the door and I knew you wouldn't have gone out, so I used the key you gave me to get in and I found you passed out on the floor of the living room. The first thing I did was call 911." Naruto smiled. He may not have all the money in the world, but he had the best friend a person could ask for.

"Thanks, bud," he said, pulling the brunette to him in a hug. Neji hugged him back tightly, but still looked worried when he pulled away.

"Well, what happened?" he asked softly, so as not to upset the blond any further. The smile fell from Naruto's face. He had been trying to avoid thinking about it, but he couldn't push the memories away any longer. Neji had called an ambulance for him, he deserved to know why the ambulance was needed.

"I've been given two ultimatums in two days," Naruto replied glumly. "Jiraiya called me last night and told me that if I couldn't catch up on the rent in thirty days then he has to evict me." Neji looked just as shocked at the news as Naruto had been. He nodded as he continued, "I know, right? Then I call my boss this morning to see if there's any way I can get some more hours, and before I even get to ask he tells me..." His throat closed up as he thought back to the conversation he'd had with his manager that morning. He couldn't bring himself to say the words yet. Neji reached out and took his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. The blond smiled at the gesture, but still found he couldn't continue.

Neji shook his head when his friend tried to speak again. "I pretty much understand. When the doctors clear you to leave, do you wanna go out somewhere and we can talk about it when you've had a little bit more time to process it?"

Naruto nodded. He considered asking if they could just go back to his place so he could continue to monitor the phone, but decided against it. Who knew how long he had been out of it while he was in the hospital, or how much longer it would take for the doctors to let him leave? He might as well enjoy some time out with his best friend.

A nurse came in not long after that and asked Naruto a few questions, then jotted down some notes on his chart after glancing at the monitors around him. She told him everything looked fine and that they usually didn't hold patients very long after they woke up from panic attacks as long as they had someone with a clear mind to drive them home, then left the room. A doctor checked up on him about ten minutes later and said the same thing the nurse had, in more eloquent wording, before he signed Naruto out into Neji's care. After the paperwork had been finalized and Naruto had changed out of the hospital gown and back into his own clothes, the two friends headed to a coffee shop near Naruto's condo.

The boys ordered their drinks and headed to a secluded table toward the back of the establishment. This time, Naruto was able to tell his story without incident. The blond stared down into his cup, watching the steam rise off of his white chocolate mocha as he wondered at the numbness spreading over his mind. It was as if he didn't know what to think or how to feel, so his brain completely stopped thinking and feeling. Neji cleared his throat across the table, bringing blue eyes up to his pale ones.

"If you want my opinion on your work situation," the Hyuuga started quietly, "I think you should put in your two weeks."

"What difference does it make?" Naruto asked, returning his attention to the light brown liquid in front of him. "Either way I'm out of a job."

"True," Neji replied, "but if you just let them fire you, you're out of a job right now. If you give them your two weeks' notice, you're out of a job in two weeks. That'll give you at least one more normal pay check, and a little more time to find a replacement job."

The other boy sighed. "Face it Neji, I'm not going to find a replacement job. I'm going to lose my home and then I'm going to be out on the street, out of a job, and too poor to live." He brought his elbows up onto the table on either side of his untouched cup of coffee, and buried his face in his palms.

"Don't talk like that." Neji scooted his chair around closer to Naruto's and put an arm around his friend, rubbing the boy's back soothingly. When he didn't get a response the brunette continued, "I'll help you out in any way I can, Naruto. I may not be able to do anything about your current job but I can help you find a new one, and I'm going to make damn sure you don't lose your home." The tan young man brought up his head to protest, but was cut off. "I'm sick of you telling me I can't help you out. You're my best friend and I'm not just going to sit around and watch your life spiral any further out of control than it already has!" A woman gave the pair an odd look as she walked past on her way to the bathroom, and Neji lowered his voice. "Look Naruto, just hear me out. I know you don't _want_ to work at the Over-Under. I've respected your opinion, and even though I always ask you I never push the matter after you say no. But things are different now, bud. If you're not hearing back from anywhere else then you need to at least give this a try."

Naruto shrugged away from his friend's touch and pulled his hands away from his face. He knew this was where the conversation was going to go. He wanted to argue the matter, but he had to face the possibility that Neji was right. If Neji really could get him a job as a host, it might be the only option he had.

Neji waited for the blond's protests, and when they didn't come he took it as a sign to continue. "It's really not as bad as I know you imagine it is. The base of the job is looks, personality, and charisma, which I know you have. You meet customers, tell them stories, flirt with them, listen to their problems, entertain them any way you can. You'll meet a lot of new people in the beginning, but once you get established as a host you'll start spending the vast majority of your time with regular customers who come specifically to see you. That's when you'll start earning commission, and once you get to that point you'll never have to worry about money again."

The blond was quiet for a while, before he muttered, "Fine. If you really think you can get me a job then I'll give it a shot."

-:-

The building was only two stories, but length and width-wise it was vast. Naruto couldn't help but gape; he had never actually been this close to the enormous host and hostess club. Neji waved a hand in front of his face and giggled when the blond turned his blank stare toward the Hyuuga. They had gone back to Neji's house so that he could change into something more feminine before they went to his place of business and now the pair stood outside the Over-Under, Neji in a fluttery strapless dress that was the same pale lilac as his eyes and wedge sandals and Naruto in khaki pants, a navy blue polo, and navy canvas slip-on shoes. After a moment Naruto swallowed thickly, still trying to wrap his head around the sheer size of the building in front of him.

"_This_ is where you work?" he asked quietly, throat dry. Neji giggled again.

"Yes," he replied. "Now come on inside." He grabbed his friend's hand and started to pull him forward, then stopped and turned around. "Oh! And remember," he leaned forward and whispered into Naruto's ear, "call me Jina, not Neji." Naruto nodded as he was pulled into the massive building. He quickly found that the inside of the establishment was even more impressive than the outside.

Straight in front of them, all the way to the back of the building, was what looked to be a normal night club. There were tables and lounge chairs sprinkled throughout the huge open area, with a large dancefloor and a bar toward the back. At this time of day the lights were all on, the music was off, and the only people scurrying around the club were the hostesses. Along both walls were numerous doorways and hallway openings, and Neji described to Naruto the maze of private rooms that laid beyond those doors and halls. Naruto just followed, nodding and gaping. Neji smiled and waved at his coworkers as he led Naruto up the stairs to the Host Club upstairs, which looked almost exactly like the Hostess Club downstairs. Just as downstairs, there were hosts milling around upstairs preparing for the night to come. No longer fascinated by the decor,Naruto found himself ogling the hosts instead. One host in particular caught the blond's eye, a pale young man who looked to be about Naruto's age; slight in stature, pitch black hair and beautiful onyx eyes. The gorgeous man didn't even look at Naruto, probably didn't even register that the blond was in the club, but Naruto couldn't take his eyes off of him.

Until, that is, Neji led them up to a man who looked to be in his mid- to late-thirties and greeted him.

"Good afternoon, Jina," the man replied, seemingly surprised. "What are you doing upstairs, and on your day off no less?" His eyes turned skeptically towards Naruto. "And who's your friend?"

"This is Naruto, Kakashi-san. He wants to apply for a job here at the Over-Under." Naruto mustered up a smile, bowing slightly to the gray-haired man.

"Nice to meet you," the blond said in his most pleasant tone, and the older man smirked slightly.

"Ah, so you want to work Upstairs," he said quietly, tapping his chin in thought as Naruto nodded his agreement. "Well then, Naruto, let's take you in the back and see if you have what it takes."

-:-

Naruto hadn't expected an interview right then. He expected to be handed an application and given some time to fill it out and to come back with Neji at a later date to turn in the application. He expected to wait a few days, or even a few weeks before hearing back from them. So, not having expected or prepared for an interview, Naruto expected and prepared to fail the interview.

He did surprisingly well.

It was like no other interview he had ever been on, that was for sure. It was more like a casual conversation between friends. Kakashi Hatake, the manager of The Upstairs, as he referred to it, started off the interview by introducing himself to Naruto and telling him that he wanted the blond to be one hundred percent himself. "I don't want to hear rehearsed answers or what you think I want to hear. I want to hear your opinions, and see your true personality shining through." Naruto embraced the request, and it made him feel much more comfortable replying to the questions.

They discussed Naruto's current job, what he did and didn't like about it, the situation that was forcing him to leave. They talked about family, albeit breifly, as Kakashi flitted right on to the next subject when he heard that Naruto was an only child and his parents were no longer with him. They touched on friends, and Kakashi asked about howNaruto and 'Jina' met. Naruto described his interests, hobbies, the books he liked to read, the games he liked to play, the shows and movies he liked to watch, and what kind of music he listened to.

After a good half-hour of Kakashi getting to know Naruto, the gray-haired man stood. "Well, Naruto, based on your charisma and personality, there really is no reason I see to not hire you." Naruto started to brighten, smiled widely; the smile fell off of his face, however, when the older man continued. "The only thing holding me back is your appearance. It's not that you're not an attractive man, Naruto, you're just simply... Well, to be frank, a little too feminine for this line of work." Naruto's mouth fell open._ "A little too feminine?" _he asked himself. No one had ever called him feminine before. _Well_, he relented, _maybe in personality, but never in appearance!_

Kakashi ushered Naruto out of the back office, to a very excited-looking Neji. The Hyuuga stood from the chair he had been waiting in, looking at his friend with expectant and questioning eyes, but Naruto merely shook his head somberly. The two left the building together, and once they were safely back in Neji's car the brunette asked what had happened.

"He said he couldn't see any reason not to hire me, except for my appearance," Naruto informed him bitterly. "I'm 'too feminine for this line of work'."

Neji gaped for a bit. "Too feminine?" he asked incredulously, and Naruto nodded. Pale eyes stared at the blond, then turned and stared out at the building in front of them through the windshield. Slowly, ever so slowly, a look of realization came over the cross-dresser's face, and he turned back to his friend with a devious smile.

"You know..." he started mischieviously. "Being too feminine has never been a problem for me."

Naruto gulped. He didn't think he would like where this was going.


	3. Downstairs

_The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply._  
>Denis Waitley<p>

Key:_  
>thoughts<br>"Words spoken in the past"_**  
>-:-<strong> Time pass / scene change

**Chapter 3 - Downstairs**

"I still don't like this," Naruto said sullenly.

Neji only smiled in response, keeping his attention on the road.

"The only reason I agreed to this is because I **need **a job. As soon as possible."

The Hyuuga rolled his eyes. Naruto huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

After a few minutes of riding in silence Naruto asked, "How long is this whole process even going to take?"

"Until you pick it up," his friend replied simply.

"And what if I _can't_ pick it up?" the blond asked. "What if I just _can't_ be a convincing woman?"

Pale violet eyes swivelled toward the passenger seat. "Trust me Naruto," Neji said. "You can do it. It's not nearly as hard as you think." Again, Naruto huffed.

A short while later the two men stood together in the living room of Neji's home. Naruto was stripped down to his boxers and annoyed. Neji was circling him like a hawk.

"I've never noticed it before because I've always thought of you as a male, but Kakashi-san's unbiased eye sure did pick up the truth."

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked in an impatient tone. "You think I look like a girl now, too?"

"No, you don't look like a girl," Neji corrected. "You merely have a feminine body structure."

Naruto blinked. "Explain the difference, please."

Neji sighed. "Well, lets start at the top," he began, tapping Naruto's chin. "Your jaw is more rounded than square, a normally feminine physical quality. Your shoulders are narrow rather than wide, another feminine characteristic. Your Adam's Apple we can't really do anything about, but you're lucky yours is relatively small. Chances are nobody will notice it unless they are actually looking for it. Unfortunately you have a masculine torso, but we can fix that by creating and accentuating a smaller waistline with strategically placed belts and high-waisted skirts."

Naruto cocked an eyebrow. Even after all the years they'd been friends, it still surprised him when Neji's more feminine side came out.

The brunette gently grabbed his friend's hand and traced a finger over it, front and back. "However, we are extremely fortunate that you have feminine hands. Man hands would be hard to disguise."

"The jawline and the shoulders I can kind of understand, but you lost me at feminine hands," Naruto deadpanned.

Neji shrugged. "Long, slender fingers, rounded fingernails... You've really never noticed the difference between men's hands and women's hands?"

"Probably because I have women's hands," the blond replied sarcastically.

Neji smirked, but continued on. "You also have longer legs than the average man. Speaking of legs, you'll have to shave them, and your armpits. Your arms themselves too, if at all possible."

"Women don't shave their arms!" Naruto said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Some of them do," Neji corrected. "And even the ones that don't shave them have much shorter arm hair than men. Better to shave the hair off than have someone asking why it's long and curly." He showed off his own clean-shaven arms, which Naruto had never particularly taken notice of before then. Naruto rubbed his palms up and down his forearms, protecting his body hair.

"Well, aside from shave myself like a professional swimmer, what else am I going to have to do?" the blond asked.

"You'll need to learn how to walk in heels. They'll make your legs look a lot more feminine. We're going to have to take you clothes shopping and find you either hair extensions or a wig to wear until your hair gets long enough to pass for womanly. And when you do start wearing your own hair down, you'll have to get it chemically straightened so that it flows normally rather than poking out at all angles."

Naruto furrowed his brow and stuck out his lower lip in a pout, bringing one of his hands away from the opposite forearm and up through his hair. He didn't get more than an inch in. _Okay, maybe that would be a good idea,_ he silently relented, bringing his hand back down. "Wait a minute," he realized suddenly. "Who's going to be paying for these new clothes and shoes and wigs? I certainly can't."

"Well I will, of course," Neji replied, as if it were the most obvious thing it the world. Naruto opened his mouth to object, but before he could get a word out he was interrupted. "Look, you just said yourself that you can't afford it. But I can, and I can guarantee you that if Kakashi saw no reason not to hire you other than your femininity, Anko will love you! I won't be wasting my money, Naruto. I promise you that you will get this job. And if it really bothers you to let me pay for this stuff, then you can pay me back _when_ you get hired."

Naruto smiled. Neji really was the best friend he had.

-:-

It took about a month for Neji to deem Naruto an acceptable excuse for a woman. Naruto had put in his two weeks' notice and worked as much as he could in that time. Neji, without informing Naruto, had paid Jiraiya all of the money Naruto owed him. When Naruto found out and got upset with him, Neji merely said: "If you really want to pay me back, I'll add it to your tab," and then the Hyuuga would hear no more on the matter. Naruto had gotten a wig made of real hair that matched his hair shade almost exactly, and Neji had taught him how to pin it on himself and position and style it so that it looked as realistic as possible. He had been given breif lessons on how to make his speech sound more feminine without sounding faked or forced, and extensive lessons on how to properly walk in stilettos. The closet in Naruto's bedroom was now filled to the brim with dresses, skirts, blouses, and jeans just nice enough to be dressed up with heels, with a small back section reserved for Naruto's male clothing. Not long into his "training", as Naruto called it, Naruto asked Neji what his female name should be.

_"It can be whatever you want it to be," Neji replied. "But I suggest using a variation of your own first name so that you're more likely to remember to respond to it."_

_"Hmm," Naruto hummed as he thought. After a few moments he asked, "How does Naruko sound?"_

_"Too close to your real name," Neji advised. "Anyone who saw you with me when you applied Upstairs might get suspicious. Or worse, you might get confused and 'correct' someone."_

_"Good point," Naruto murmured, sulking. He had liked that name. He bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to think of another female name similar to his own, but not too similar. "How about Narumi?"_

_Neji turned the name over in his mind, considering it. "Narumi sounds cute," he replied. "Perfect for you," he continued, winking._

_Naruto smirked before asking, "And what about my last name? Should I just use Uzumaki?"_

_"Probably not," Neji replied. "It would be too easy for someone to find the real you that way... What was your father's last name again?"_

_Naruto winced at the question. "Namikaze," he replied quietly._

_"Narumi Namikaze," Neji said brightly. "Sounds like a great name to me!" Naruto merely shrugged. Although he liked the name, the turn in conversation prevented him from being enthusiastic about it._

Now, three weeks later, the two friends sat once more in the front seat of Neji's car outside the Over-Under a few hours before the club opened up for the night. Naruto wore a solid royal blue short-sleeved dress that went down to his knees, a thick black belt positioned just above his navel, giving him a faux-hourglass figure, and black close-toed wedges (because he had a much easier time walking in high wedges than high stilettos, and Neji feared Naruto might make a fool of himself if he got too nervous).

"Are you sure I look okay?" Naruto asked as they got out of the car and headed toward the club. Neji was pleased by how feminine his friend now sounded without even having to try very hard.

"Of course you do, Naru-chan," Neji replied, smiling lightly. "You're going to get this job, I just know it." Naruto smiled back and took a deep breath, then they started toward the club.

As soon as they walked in Naruto again found himself immediately impressed by the vastness of the building, and the sheer number of hostesses darting back and forth, here and there around the club. Neji led the way, this time to a woman with dark brown hair who didn't look a day over twenty five.

"Hey there, Jina!" the woman greeted them with a bright smile. "Aren't you off today?" Unlike the Upstairs manager, Kakashi, this woman seemed to take no notice of Naruto.

"Yeah, I am Anko-san," Neji replied. "I just wanted to bring my friend by and see if I could get her an interview. This is Narumi Namikaze." Neji motioned toward Naruto, and he smiled his most feminine and charming smile. "Narumi, this is Anko Mitarashi, the Downstairs manager."

"Pleased to meet you," Naruto said brightly, bowing slightly.

"Yeah, we'll see about that," Anko said with the same bright smile, but a slightly menacing tone to her voice. Naruto tried not to let his image of happiness waver as he followed the slightly older woman to an office that was almost identical to Kakashi's Upstairs office.

The interview was very similar. Anko started off by giving Naruto the same instructions that Kakashi had; that she wanted his honest opinions and not planned and rehearsed answers that he thought she wanted to hear; that she wanted to see his true personality shining through as clearly as possible. Naruto gave the same answers that he had given Kakashi upstairs, leaving out some of his more 'masculine' interests. Anko nodded from time to time, but didn't laugh with him and wasn't as outwardly pleased as Kakashi had been during their interview. Naruto got nervous toward the end of the session, worrying that maybe this Anko woman had somehow been able to see through him. At the end of the interview Anko stood, and began to circle Naruto in his chair. He withstood the urge to shrink under her gaze, instead sitting up even straighter.

"Well, Narumi," Anko began in a monotone voice. "You certainly have the charm and charisma needed to work in a place like this. You're cute too, albeit a little flat-chested." Naruto furrowed his brow in resentment, before it occurred to him that he was in fact still male, and wasn't supposed to have breasts. "Oh well, we can't have too many hostesses with big tits. People will start to call us Hooters." Anko laughed and winked, nudging Naruto in the side with her elbow. Naruto laughed too, until what Anko said actually hit him.

"Does that mean I got the job?" he asked, trying not to sound too excited.

Anko smirked. "You sure did, kid. And you've got perfect timing, too. We're going to be premiering all of our new hosts and hostesses at the annual Over-Under Ball this weekend. Until then, I'm going to have Jina out there train you so that you'll be ready to work at and after the ball. Come in with her whenever she works for the rest of the week, and I'll get you your own schedule next week, after you're introduced."

Naruto couldn't help but grin as widely as possible as he stood from his seat and shook Anko's hand. Things were finally starting to look up for him.


	4. Training

**A/N: From now on in the story, I will be referring to Naruto and Neji as Narumi and Jina and using female pronouns to describe them (she, her, etc.) while they're cross-dressing or while they're thinking as their female selves. I'll be referring to them as Naruto and Neji and using male pronouns (he, his, etc.) when they're not cross-dressing or when they're thinking as themselves, not their female counterparts. Keeping it uniform this way will be a lot easier for everyone I think, but if anyone gets confused by it don't be afraid to speak up. ^^**

_"Confidence is the companion of success."  
><em>Author Unknown_  
><em>

Key:_  
>thoughts<em>  
>-:- denotes time pass andor scene change

**Chapter 4 - Training**

For the next two weeks, Narumi was trained in the art of being a hostess by Jina, Anko, and a surprisingly large number of both fellow hostesses and hosts from Upstairs. The first thing Anko did was give her an in-depth definition of what she would be doing.

"Hostesses, while on the clock, exist solely for the entertainment of the customer," Anko began Narumi's orientation session. "We'll have you start out on the main floor with the rest of the newer girls. You'll start off making a base salary that isn't far above minimum wage, but you'll get tips. You'll bring new customers and hostess-hoppers to their tables, and sometimes you'll have to show new Upstairs customers the way to the elevator or the stairs. We service all sexualities here, so _always_ make sure to ask customers what they've come for, if they don't tell you right off the bat. In the beginning you'll be part hostess and part waitress. You will take customer's orders and deliver them to the kitchen. You will light cigarettes, pour drinks, and serve food, always in a sensual manner. You will offer flirtatious conversation. You will dance with and sing to clients.

"How long this goes on depends on how well you do your job. As soon as you start catching clients' eyes they'll start requesting to see you in private. At this point you'll be assigned your own room to cater to clients either privately or in groups, depending on the customer's preference and/or request. At this point you will have more of a simulated relationship with your clients. In addition to catering to them in the same ways as before, you may also have to listen to their problems and offer them advice or comfort as needed. It will seem bothersome in the beginning, but in your room is where you'll earn double your base pay hourly, plus commission on everything your client orders." Anko paused in her description of the job and gave Narumi a smirk. "Trust me, the moolah makes it _all_ worth it."

Throughout the rest of his training Narumi worked closely with more seasoned hostesses, learning the intricacies of what her job would be like on while she was on the main floor. Once she had that covered, she began working with seasoned hosts in private rooms. They gave her pointers on how to speak to men so that they felt comfortable, and gave her good pointers on how to subtly change the flow of conversation if she ever got uncomfortable with it. Hostesses and hosts alike made sure to assure Narumi whenever possible that she had absolutely no obligation to get physical with customers, and that if a client ever made an unwanted advance, she was urged to push the panic button found in her room or under her table, depending on where she was. The club had a strict policy against clients taking advantage of hostesses and hosts.

All throughout the training process, Naruto was amazed by how welcome and comfortable the entire staff made him feel. He confided to Neji, on the drive home from work one evening, that sometimes he really forgot that he was a man posing as a woman. Neji merely laughed and assured him that that was probably the best mindset to have in his situation. Constantly worrying about getting found out would, effectively, get him found out sooner or later. The only time Naruto really felt like Naruto while in the Over-Under was on his last day of training, when he was paired in a room with the number one host from Upstairs.

"Watch yourself with him," Jina had warned in the car on the way to work that morning. "He's young, but he's been with the club longer than anyone, except for Kakashi and Anko. He has a habit of nit-picking and will come off insulting and condescending, but you have to make sure you remember that he really is trying to help you succeed. All of us have to be put through a test with him before we're accepted onto our first day on the job, just like all of the new male hosts have to be put through a test with me before their first day on the job." Jina smiled and winked, flaunting the fact that she was the most popular female hostess Downstairs.

"Sounds like a nightmare," Narumi replied, slouching in her seat.

"Don't mess up your hair!" Jina chastised, lightly slapping Narumi's shoulder with the back of her hand. Narumi grudgingly sat up straight. "He really isn't that bad if you remember what I told you," Jina continued as they pulled into the parking lot of the club. "He's not trying to be rude, it's just how he is."

"Greeeaaaat," Narumi replied sarcastically as the two got out of the car.

After the pair got clocked in Narumi made her way to the room she had been training in, only to find that her training partner for the day was already there. At first she was slightly taken aback by the sight of who it was: the gorgeous, dark-haired host that Naruto had seen the first time Jina took him Upstairs. After she got a chance to think about it, however, she wasn't surprised. He was easily the most attractive man Naruto had ever seen in his life, and if Narumi were to go to a host club this man would definitely be the one she chose to spend her time with.

"Welcome to work," the man greeted, standing from the loveseat couch and taking a few steps toward Narumi. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha, and as I'm sure you've already been told, I'm the most popular host Upstairs." He extended his hand toward Narumi as he spoke, palm up. Narumi had to remind herself to present her hand palm down, fingers slightly bent, as a female formally should.

"Yes, I've heard," she replied as she gave him her hand. "My name is Narumi Namikaze. It's a pleasure to be working with you." Narumi couldn't stop the blush that warmed her cheeks when she felt Sasuke's fingers wrap around hers as he lifted her hand to his lips, gently pressing his lips to the back of her hand. Knowing it was the proper way for a man to greet a woman didn't subdue her reaction at all.

"Jina-san told me you're going to test me before I'm allowed on the main floor," Narumi stated as Sasuke dropped her hand.

"Yes," Sasuke confirmed. "I am going to be your final exam with instant feedback. If I don't think you're ready for the main floor before we open tonight, you'll go home and be put through another week of training. If I do think you're ready, you'll be put on the front lines tonight."

"Alrighty!" Narumi said enthusiastically. "Let's do this!"

The pair sat on the loveseat and began to make light conversation as Narumi poured water from a sake bottle. "Focus more on me," Sasuke interrupted, tapping Narumi's chin up so that she made eye contact with him. "Make sure you don't overflow the glasses, but always focus the majority of your attention on the customer. Make them feel like whatever they're saying is the most interesting thing you've ever heard, even if they're just talking about the weather." Narumi nodded, flicking her eyes back to the cup just long enough to tilt the sake bottle back up, move it to the next cup, and begin pouring again. "Good," Sasuke complimented. "You'll get better with time. If you stay here long enough you'll get to the point where you can sense when the cups are full without having to look, just by the sound of the sake pouring."

Narumi finished pouring their drinks and they went back to their casual speech as they sipped their water. Narumi used a few subtle flirting tricks she learned from her fellow hostesses, such as leaning toward him as he spoke, making as much eye contact as possible, smiling and biting her lip every now and then, and touching him lightly on the shoulder, upper arm, or knee as he spoke. After a while Sasuke interrupted the conversation to say, "You're trying too hard."

"What?" Narumi asked, pulling her hand away from where it was resting on his knee. He placed his hand on top of hers and stopped her as he replied.

"First of all, the knee is going too far for your first meeting with someone." He lifted his hand from hers, and she pulled it into her own lap. "The light arm touches or maybe turning yourself toward me so that our knees touch is fine," as he spoke he angled himself toward Narumi so that their knees and an inch or so of their thighs were pressed together, to demonstrate what he meant, "but I would save the hand on the knee until your third, maybe fourth time with a client. It would be considered by many to be an intimate spot, and if you don't know me well, you don't know whether or not I'll take that as a sexual advance."

"I don't see how you mean," Narumi replied. "It's just a simple touch. It's not like I was touching your thigh or anything."

"Then put your hand back on my knee if you don't follow me," said Sasuke. Narumi obliged and Sasuke continued, "Now, what if I were some horny client who had merely requested to see you because you caught my eye on the main floor? Maybe I'm controlling, maybe I've never been in a real relationship, and I take your 'simple touch' as a sexual advance." He placed his hand back atop Narumi's and slowly slid it up his thigh, closer to his crotch. "You didn't mean to touch my thigh, but now you are. And with my hand on top of yours, as a hostess you can't simply pull your hand away. You might offend the customer. How would you react in this situation?"

"Would you like a refill of your drink, Uchiha-san?" Narumi asked after a moment's pause, leaning her whole body toward the table rather than only pulling her hand away.

Rather than letting her slip away, Sasuke grabbed her other hand with his free one. "A drink isn't what I want right now, Narumi," he said in a menacing voice, pulling her closer to him.

Narumi swallowed thickly. "Maybe we can find you something on the menu, then?" she asked innocently, trying once more to pull her body gently away from the host. Again Sasuke pulled her closer, this time yanking Narumi so that she fell onto him. Narumi felt all the air leave her lungs as her chest fell onto Sasuke's, their faces mere inches apart and her legs tangled with his. Finally she tried to yank herself away, but Sasuke's hold was too strong.

"How would you react if a customer had you in this position, Narumi?" he whispered, and the blond smiled seductively as a thought hit her.

"Actually, Uchiha-san," she said in her most innocent voice. Sasuke's eyes widened as he felt one of her legs move between his. "I think I'd be okay with this situation..." She leaned her face even closer to Sasuke's and whispered, "Especially with you."

Sasuke seemed to be lost for words. Narumi only grinned wider at the shocked expression on the host's face. Suddenly the door slammed open, and Anko barged into the room. Sasuke was looking past Narumi to Anko when he heard a soft clicking. Lowering his eyes he saw that the clicking was Narumi's shoes tapping on the underside of the coffee table that their drinks were set on. "You pressed the panic button with your foot," Sasuke said, seeming to be both flabbergasted and relieved at the same time. "Clever. A good quality to have in this line of work."

"What's going on here?" Anko demanded, seeing Sasuke holding Narumi to him on the loveseat. Immediately Sasuke let go of Narumi's wrists and she pulled herself back to her original sitting position on the other side of the loveseat.

"Nothing, Anko-san," Narumi said pleasantly, smiling widely at her boss. "Sasuke-san was just making sure I could take care of myself in the event that a customer got physical with me."

"Oh," Anko replied, though Narumi wasn't sure whether or not the woman accepted the answer. Either way Anko merely shrugged, and backed out of the room. When she had gone, Narumi turned back to Sasuke with a smug look on her face.

"That was extremely dangerous, Narumi," Sasuke said, sounding enraged as he sat himself back up.

"What, Anko?" Narumi asked, confused. "She didn't ca-"

"No, not Anko," Sasuke interrupted. "Even aside from the fact that that stunt you pulled was a very inappropriate advance on a coworker, it would have been even worse if you had done that to an actual customer."

"Why would it be?" Narumi asked, even more confused. "I pushed the panic button, Anko would have come and gotten the guy out, nothing would hav-"

"A customer who got it in his head to rape you could have rolled you over on the couch and pinned you underneath him before you had the chance to find the panic button with your foot!" Sasuke yelled. Narumi flinched backward at the sound of his raised voice. "These rooms are almost completely soundproof to block out the noise of the club," Sasuke continued. "The chances of Anko hearing you scream over the padding in the walls _and_ the music blaring on the main floor would be slim to none. Do you understand now why that stunt would have been dangerous for you?"

"Yes," Narumi mumbled, looking down at the floor. She saw Sasuke stand, but didn't look up.

"I'm going to tell Anko that you're not ready," he said. "You still need a lot more training."

"No!" Narumi exclaimed, jumping from her seat. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I understand now, don't be too seductive. Don't put my hand on a customer's knee until I know their temperament. I get it!"

"Do you really get it?" Sasuke fumed. "Because I don't think you do. I don't think you're cut out for a dangerous environment like this."

"Please!" Narumi practically begged. "Please, Sasuke, just give me another chance. You said I had until the club opened for the night to prove to you that I could handle it. Please just let me try again."

Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest and stared Narumi down. She laced her fingers together as if she were praying and brought them up to her chest, mouthing the word _'Please.'_ After a few moments Sasuke sighed, bringing one hand up to his face and squeezing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Fine," he relented, and Narumi almost jumped for joy.

"Thank you very much, Sasuke-san," she said gratefully, bowing deeply in front of him. Sasuke sighed again and took his previous place on the loveseat.

For the next few hours Sasuke continued to criticize everything that Narumi did even slightly wrong, making every little mistake sound much worse than it really was. Although Narumi knew that he was only annoyed with her and she wasn't really doing as badly as he said, she tried her hardest to accept the criticism graciously and make all of the improvements that Sasuke suggested. Finally, about half an hour before the Over-Under opened for the night, Anko returned to the practice room.

"Well, Sasuke?" Anko asked. "Is she ready or not?"

From her tone, Narumi could tell that Anko expected Sasuke to say no. Therefore, they were both surprised when the Uchiha replied, "She's improved in every area I saw flaw in, even in this short amount of time. I see no reason to keep her off the main floor any longer."

Anko's jaw dropped slightly and she groped for words. _It must be a pretty rare thing for him to pass someone on their first try,_ Narumi thought. As the words flew through her mind she couldn't help but smile widely at the thought that she had passed a test that few others did. She couldn't stop herself from flopping forward on the loveseat and hugging Sasuke tightly. Sasuke stiffened a little, then wrapped one arm around the blond and patted her back lightly before prying himself away from her and standing from the couch.

Narumi stood as well. "Sorry," she said, chuckling awkwardly and blushing as Sasuke straightened his jacket. "Thank you," she said, bowing once more to the host.

"Don't mention it," Sasuke replied. "And please, don't hug me while on the clock." Narumi furrowed her eyebrows at the statement as Sasuke squeezed past Anko and left the practice room, probably on his way Upstairs for his shift.

Anko stared after Sasuke for a bit, then turned back to Narumi and shrugged. "Come on girlie," she said in an upbeat tone. "Apparently you start work tonight."


End file.
